Fundraising / the gift shop
Gift shop
Heavy-duty foil hats, plywood decoy cattle, the Beryl tea towel and the fridge magnet that has stopped more tapes leaving more kitchens than any other product in the district. Order form coming soon (since 1999).
Ordering
The online order form has been "coming soon" since 1999 and Shane says this is now a "retro feature". To order, attend Friday Disclosure Night at the Royal Hotel (raffle at 8) or write your request on a plate at the Tuesday group. Cash, cheque, or in Dr Faraday's case, "a favour". The Collective does not take card and does not take hints.
Heavy-Duty Foil Hat (Mk IV)
$19.95$14.95
Double-fold, shiny side out, crimped behind the ears by Noreen, who does not endorse it but does the best crimp in the district. Available in one size (head). Not for roasting.
Plywood Decoy Cow
$89.00
Life-size, painted red (Droughtmaster) or black (Angus, for the southern market). Four lost to westerlies since 1998, which Dr Faraday counts as four abductions prevented. Stake not included. Staking "doesn’t help".
"DO NOT GIVE THEM THE TAPE" Fridge Magnet
$4.50
Our best-seller. Positioned on the fridge it is the first thing you see when you go for milk at 3 am and the last thing the Men in Beige see when they ask. Pack of three: one for the fridge, one for the ute, one for the Tupperware.
Paddock Alert Level Indicator (Mauve)
$22.00
A laminated card reading MAUVE. It does not change. It has never needed to. Mount on the verandah facing the Top Paddock. Reviewed nightly by you, in Warren’s absence.
The Beryl Tea Towel
$18.00
The frame. Enhanced 212 times. Printed on cotton. Management has asked that proceeds go to the bore pump, and they do, mostly.
Tuesday Night Plate (Empty)
$12.00
A plate. Bring it on Tuesday with something on it. CWA-approved diameter. Not for Keith.
Faraday Unit Reference Card
$6.00
Pocket card showing the FU scale from 1 (torch) to 14 (green hangar). Does not go to 15. Nothing should be that bright.
"I Was Returned to the Wrong House" Bumper Sticker
$5.00
Cheryl’s design. Reflective, which she notes "might help them find the right one".
Prices in Australian dollars, plus postage, plus whatever Noreen says. No product on this page protects anyone from anything. The decoy cow is a decoy.