1. Nature of this website
This website is satire. It is a parody of 1990s-style UFO conspiracy websites and of conspiracy culture generally. Every person named on it, including Warren, Noreen, Shane and Jaxon Doolan and Mangan, "Dr" Lyle Faraday, Cheryl Mangan, Pine Gap Pete, Keith Rowbotham, Senior Constable Taggart, Gary, Macca, Dennis, Graeme, Maureen, Tyler and the Men in Beige, is fictional. Boolaroo Downs, Wandoona, the Royal Hotel, the Wandoona CWA hall, the Bureau and the Southern Skies Disclosure Webring are fictional. Beryl is fictional and, within the fiction, fine.
Real places (Roswell, Pine Gap, the Nullarbor, Tully, Westall, Boulia, Roma, Toowoomba, Charleville, Longreach, Canberra, New Jersey) and well-known UFO folklore (the Phoenix Lights, the Tic Tac footage, the 2023 congressional hearing, the 2024 New Jersey drone sightings, the 1966 Tully saucer nest, the 1988 Nullarbor incident) are referenced as cultural shorthand only. No real person is depicted, quoted or alleged to have done anything. Where a real public body is mentioned, it is mentioned as the butt of a joke about conspiracy thinking, and nothing on this site should be read as a claim about what that body has actually said or done.
Nothing on this site is news, evidence, advice, medicine, science, agronomy or a reason to purchase foil.
2. The photographs
All "evidence photographs" were generated for this website from original vector scenes and deliberately degraded to resemble low-quality camcorder stills. They depict nothing and nobody real. No real photograph of any person, animal, aircraft, facility or weather event appears on this site. Dr Faraday's enhancements are also fictional, as is Dr Faraday.
3. Takedown requests
| From | Request | Status |
|---|---|---|
| "The Bureau" (×31) | The tape | Refused (×31) |
| Two separate agencies (fictional) | Removal of the Pine Gap photograph | Image enlarged |
| Jaxon Mangan | Removal of the 1999 Polaroid | Noted. Under consideration since 2020. Editor's note appended. |
| Keith Rowbotham | Right of reply | Granted, annotated |
| Management | Correction re: Roma saleyards | Published in full, disputed in full |
4. The report form
The sighting report form transmits, stores and logs nothing. The acknowledgement number is generated in your browser and cannot be looked up by anyone. The self-assessment and missing-time calculator run entirely in your browser and send nothing anywhere. The visitor counter is decorative and increments locally. The newsletter form is disabled.
5. Privacy
This site sets no cookies, loads no third-party scripts, fonts, trackers or analytics, and collects no personal information. We do not know who you are. We assume the Bureau does, but that is between you and the Bureau.
6. Copyright
Text, artwork, diagrams, generated photographs, the Faraday Unit and the phrase "a cow, from above, worried" are original to this project. You may quote and share with attribution to ufo8mycow.net. You may not present any of it as genuine evidence of anything, and if you try, Noreen will produce the receipt.
7. Standing positions
- The tape will not be handed over.
- The receipt is exactly what they would want you to have.
- The Paddock Alert Level is mauve.
- Gary owes Cheryl.
- Jaxon is loved, tall, and entitled to his view.
- Keith is banned.
Document U8MC-LEG-01. Last reviewed on the verandah, this evening. © 1996–2026 UFO 8 MY COW Research Collective (fictional).