CONFIRMEDENHANCED ×212Since the founding of this Collective, experiencers have brought us things. Small things. Hard things. Things that came out of them, or near them, or were found in the bed the morning after and could not otherwise be accounted for. This dossier is the first complete register of those objects, their recovery, their analysis and their current whereabouts, which is a Tupperware.
1. What an implant is
An implant is a small, usually metallic object placed within the body of an experiencer by the visitors for the purposes of tracking, monitoring, communication or, in Cheryl’s considered view, “spite”. Implants are typically 2 to 5 millimetres in length, are found in soft tissue near a joint or a sensory organ, and are surrounded by a thin membrane which the medical establishment calls “scar tissue” and I call “the housing”.
An implant is not: a splinter, a staple, a tooth, a fragment of a Bunnings hose fitting, or anything the experiencer “may have swallowed”. These exclusions are applied rigorously, as Section 4 demonstrates, and the Collective’s register remains, as a result, the most conservative in the Southern Hemisphere.
2. Recovery methods
The Collective does not perform surgery. I want that on the record, in a dossier, because the hospital has asked. Objects enter the register by one of four routes:
- Clinical recovery. Removed by a medical practitioner in the ordinary course of treatment for something else, and handed to the experiencer in a specimen jar with the words “no idea, mate”.
- Spontaneous expulsion. The object emerges on its own, usually in the shower, the bed or a bowl of cereal. See R-07.
- Self-recovery. The experiencer removes the object with tweezers, a needle sterilised over the gas, and a mirror. The Collective neither recommends nor, on the evidence, can prevent this.
- Imaging only. The object remains in situ and is known only from an X-ray. These entries are marked “resident”.
3. Chain of custody
All recovered objects are held in a 1.2-litre Décor Tupperware (blue lid) in the second drawer of the filing cabinet in the second bedroom. Each is in its own zip-lock bag with a label in Cheryl’s handwriting. The Tupperware was previously used for Anzac biscuits and some residual crumbs are present; these have been catalogued separately and excluded.
The Tupperware has left the property three times: once to the Tuesday group for a show-and-tell, once to Brisbane for analysis by a man Shane found online who turned out to sell crystals, and once in 2011 when Noreen took it to the Show by mistake and it was awarded second in Preserves.
Exhibit A — the Tupperware, inventory of 16 June 2016
Fourteen zip-lock bags. Twelve contain objects. One contains a note reading "returned to Jaxon, he said it was his". One is empty and labelled GARY, which Cheryl declines to explain.
4. The register
| No. | Date | Experiencer | Site | Description | Recovery | Finding |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| R-01 | 03/1995 | Warren D. | Left forearm | 3 mm grey sliver, magnetic | Self (needle) | Consistent with implant; also with fencing wire |
| R-02 | 02/2002 | Cheryl M. | Behind left ear | 3 mm metallic, bright on X-ray | Imaging only (resident) | Confirmed implant |
| R-03 | 08/2002 | Cheryl M. | Right knee | 4 mm, dark, with “a seam” | Clinical (arthroscopy) | Confirmed implant; surgeon said “bit of old gravel” |
| R-04 | 11/2003 | Man from Charleville | Left shin | 2 mm triangular | Self (tweezers) | Consistent; shape matches Cheryl’s shin mark |
| R-05 | 05/2004 | Shane D. | Gum, upper left | Hard white object | Spontaneous (toast) | Excluded: tooth |
| R-06 | 06/2006 | Visitor, name withheld | Scalp | Metal, bent, two prongs | Self | Excluded: staple (Tuesday group minutes, April 2006) |
| R-07 | 09/2008 | Warren D. | Weet-Bix | 5 mm metallic cylinder | Spontaneous (breakfast) | Confirmed by Collective; Noreen cites the toaster element |
| R-08 | 01/2010 | Cheryl M. | Left hip | 3 mm, emits “a warmth” | Imaging only (resident) | Confirmed; hospital imaging shows “nothing” |
| R-09 | 10/2011 | Pine Gap Pete | Behind right ear | Described only; never produced | None | Open; Pete “can feel it when planes go over” |
| R-10 | 03/2012 | Mrs K., Dulacca St | Thumb | Glass, clear | Clinical | Excluded: glass (Mrs K. had dropped a glass) |
| R-11 | 07/2013 | Visitor from Dubbo | Inner elbow | 4 mm, scored lengthwise | Self | Consistent with implant; also with a drill bit tip |
| R-12 | 02/2014 | Cheryl M. | Right ear (external) | Small silver object | Spontaneous (pillow) | Excluded: earring back (Cheryl disputes) |
| R-13 | 08/2015 | Warren D. | Right palm | Wood, 11 mm | Self | Excluded: splinter, though from the verandah where it happened |
| R-14 | 04/2016 | Jaxon M. | Heel, aged 6 (recovered from a shoebox) | Plastic bead, blue | Returned to Jaxon | Withdrawn at Jaxon’s request; he “remembers the bead” |
Of fourteen entries, seven are confirmed or consistent, six are excluded and one is open. A 50 per cent confirmation rate across two decades is, for a volunteer organisation with no laboratory, a magnificent result, and I have said so in a letter to the hospital that they did not answer.
5. Analysis
The confirmed objects share four properties.
Size. All fall between 2 and 5 millimetres. Nothing larger has been recovered, which suggests the visitors’ manufacturing tolerances are very tight, or that larger objects would be noticed going in.
Location. Behind the ear (hearing), the knee (walking), the hip (also walking) and the shin (unclear). The visitors appear to be monitoring whether the experiencer can hear and whether they can walk away. Draw your own conclusions.
The membrane. Every clinically recovered object was enclosed in a thin, tough layer of tissue. Medicine calls this encapsulation, a normal response to any foreign body. I would simply ask: normal for whom?
Magnetism. R-01, R-07 and R-11 are attracted to the fridge magnet from the Wandoona Show. R-02 and R-08 cannot be tested because they are still in Cheryl. Cheryl has stood next to the fridge for extended periods and reports “a pull”, though she concedes the fridge also holds the Keno slips.
Exhibit B — the Weet-Bix cylinder (R-07)
Recovered 14 September 2008 at 6:40 am from the second Weet-Bix in a bowl of three. Warren had not yet added milk, which rules out the milk. The cylinder is 5 mm long, 1 mm in diameter, hollow, and under magnification shows a spiral groove. Noreen produced the toaster element, which was missing a 5 mm section. The Collective's position is that both things can be true.
6. Signals
In 2009, following the Weet-Bix recovery, the Collective commissioned a signal survey. Shane borrowed a radio scanner from a man at the Royal and we swept the Tupperware across all bands for three nights. Results:
- Night one: nothing, except the ABC.
- Night two: a brief warble at 27 MHz, later found to be Darryl Hennessy on the CB asking if anyone had seen his plank.
- Night three: a steady tone at ▇▇▇ MHz that lasted eleven minutes and stopped when the Tupperware lid was opened. The scanner has since been returned and the man at the Royal says it “never did that for him”.
The null results on nights one and two are consistent with advanced shielding. The result on night three is consistent with a signal. I consider the survey a complete success.
A word from management
The "implant" in Warren's forearm was fencing wire, which I know because I pulled it out of the fence he fell through. The Weet-Bix one was the toaster. Cheryl's ear thing is real in the sense that there is a thing there; she had her ears pierced by a girl at the Show in 1988 with a needle and a potato and I would start there. The Tupperware was mine and I would like it back. — Noreen
7. Recommendations
- Experiencers who suspect an implant should attend a doctor and say nothing about aliens, as this materially improves the chance of an X-ray.
- Spontaneously expelled objects should be bagged immediately and not eaten, as happened very nearly with R-07.
- Teeth, staples, glass, splinters, earring backs and beads are not implants and should not be brought to the Tuesday group in a serviette.
- The Collective seeks a second Tupperware.
Appendix A — Imaging held on file
Four X-rays and one ultrasound are held in a manila folder (not beige; we checked) in the filing cabinet. The 2002 Mangan image is reproduced at the head of this dossier. The 2010 hip image is reproduced nowhere, at Cheryl’s request, “because of the angle”. The 2013 Dubbo elbow was photographed on a phone and the phone was subsequently lost on a Tuesday, which is noted.
Appendix B — Objects declined
The Collective has declined to register the following, offered in good faith: a 20-cent coin (2004), a bolt from a Hills Hoist (2007), a complete hearing aid (2012, returned to its owner), and a fragment of the Royal Hotel’s beer garden pergola, which the experiencer maintained had been “put in him” during a Friday Disclosure Night. The pergola collapsed that night; the matter is with the publican.
Document U8MC-DOS-05. Status: CONFIRMED. This file is retained indefinitely, or until the Men in Beige ask for it, whichever is never.